Last Day of January, First Day of Fuck Yeah!

(Note: Original Photograph for GLAMF!)

My parents just left for a week of fun in the sun with my last living grandparent, Grandma Prebo. They all got on the plane bright and early so I didn't wish them off, and besides that I was spending the night at Drew's (I love sleepovers!)

But, before my mother left last evening she had a surprise for me. A brand new cellular telephone. Granted I feel like a baby child because of my inablility to pay for my own phone at this current juncture, I do feel at least a little liberated as well. Now I am no longer super hard to get a hold of, which has it's positives and negatives. I also have to make sure my pay-as-you-go (yes, I am a gangster) contract is now cancelled.

I am now the person in charge of Casa Prebo and I think it's time to make some new rules:

1. Beer must be consumed at least one hour a day.

2. No puking except in the backyard or downstairs toilet.

3. All sexual contact must be approved by the Ian Prebo oversight committee where a non-biast judge (yours truely) will part take in said act so as to descern the nature and intent of the physical contact.

4. All sexual conduct (and mis-conduct) will be performed by one female who shall remain un-named. (You know who you are sweet cheeks.)

5. Masturbation shall take place only between the hours of Midnight and Midnight the following day.

6. Music must be played at a level so as to be annoying to all neighbors within a half mile radius.

7. No Skat play.

8. People named Andy Kaburka must remain in their home unless going to, at, or coming home from work.

9. There will be no parties, except the pants party, and you're invited.

10. I will blog about ascenine and inconsequential things, therefore making all readers laugh or pee.

Thems the new rules at the "House that Some Guy I Never Met Built" (also know as Chez Preebz). If you don't like those rules refer to rule number 7, as I do not want nor do I need any of your shit.

In more exciting news I have more hours for SCCtv which means I am not, after all, a complete faliure at life. Good news for Ian, bad news for pizza.

New Found Energy

Last night I had a stroke of brilliance. My muse was like "Yo, Bitch! Time to create some shit!" I was like "Awww shit, bitch, why you be sweatin' me?" This went on for a little while and then she grabbed my by the short and curlys and kissed my forehead thus putting a new idea of epic proportions into my dome.

I can't say what it is right now, as I don't want to jinx the whole process. What I can say is that it is very personal and could possibly be my first masterpiece. That may sound concieted, but were you in my head you would agree.

So with this chance meeting with said muse (who for whatever reason is an African American woman dressed in 1970's) I have a new found energy and a purpose for my creative talents. I hope that I will finish it as soon as possible.

I would also like to thank Drew over at OMSTV and my partner in Heart of Austria Productions for the new banner etc. Thanks pretty lady. Peace out folks.

Toil and all that Jazz

Lately I've been feeling down. I'm sure that my previous post let all you illustrious readers in on that fact, but I would like to elaborate.

I no longer live with Drew of OMSTV, which is both good and bad. The good part being we both have space now, the bad being I miss her. . . and I had to move back in with the parents. Not at all awesome. Don't get me wrong, I have two of the most awesome parents anyone could ask for, but I still feel like a faliure.

A lot of the descision of moving out was made by me. I felt stuck and I didn't think that my living situation was helping me any. Not to say Drew isn't a super awesome person, but for right now it is for the better.

I've been thinking a lot about the people I have lost in the past year and that has me down as well. I miss my Grandfather, my Grandmother, BJ, and George, to name a few. Time does heal some of the pain of loosing them, but it creates some as well.

My whole crazyness has not helped either. Let's face it folks, this loveable blogger is a bit nuts. But then again, that's where I get some of my charm. I guess it is the whole artist conundrum. Let me stop before I get concieted.

I just feel beaten up by life. I thought that taking things slow for a while would help. It has not. If anything taking it slow has added to stress as opposed to relieving it. This fact stresses me out more.

So I am essentially where I was before. Depressed and living with my parents. At least I am alive.

poopy

I'm feeling pretty crappy right now, as I just got an email saying that a lot of the stuff I shot on my last shoot did not come out well. It sucks when you think what you did was awesome and it turns out like poop. Sometimes I feel like I am a fraud. Maybe I just can't hack it after all.

In other news I went tracking the other day with my friend John and that was awesome. Now I'm gonna go work out and cry in the dark.

Big Preebz and L'il Poot

Had a day with Poot. Spotted tracks of Stryder the cat in frost and moss. Nice combination; it holds the pressure releases well. Crystalline structures from the frost causes the moss and grass to react differently then warmer temperatures. When walked upon the heat and friction cause the ice crystals to slightly melt and then refreeze because of the low temperature, thus holding moss and grass down in a frozen track. Pretty neat stuff, if you ask me.

We then went down to Long Fellow Creek and checked out what looked like a den of some kind (Though it could be a small game tunnel) and I thought I heard a coyote growl from nearby. After that we went up to a greenbelt on Pigeon Hill and checked out coyote lays (places they bed down) and briefly looked at some tracks in large rock and gravel. And then I found five dollars. Just kidding. The End.

Waaay too early for me.

Right now.

Family Matters and 30 Rock

Two shows that I love, and partially because of the women in them. I was watching Celebrity Rehab with Drew (and Dr. Drew) and Danny Baldwin is on the show. Furthermore, there is the guy from taxi (wonderful show, really, and with Danny Devito and Christopher Lloyd [played doc in "Back to the Future"]) Jeff Conaway, China and Brigitte Nielsen (who both appeared on The Surreal Live together[China was a WWF wrestler and has a penis clit from the steroids and Brigitte was Sonya in the film Red Sonya{with Arnold Schwarzenegger}.]). There's also some pornstar drunk, some fucking punk, and Jaime Foxxworth from Family Matters (and porn).

Danny Baldwin reminded me of his better brother, the one I like waaaaay more than him, Alec. I think that Alec Baldwin is a fine actor and a fine man. He was exceptional in the Shadow (better than Billy Zane in the Phantom) and in 30 Rock he is f-uck-ing spectacular. And instantly I am reminded of Tina Fey.

Ahhhh, Tina Fey. I think she might be quite possibly the sexiest American woman today. She beats out Ellen by having glasses and a scarred up face. Tina Fey should be miss America. I said it. She is smart. Crazy smart. Beautiful, and Hilarious. These are the women to have. Hell, that's why I'm with Drew. (Side note: 30 Rock is the new Ally McBeal, but funnier and Tina Fey doesn't have a eating disorder.)

Jaime Foxxworth, that just amazes me. I think it is almost funny that she went from Family Matters to an actress that was in porn. The thing is, she smoked so much weed that she didn't want to work and she thought that porn would be easy money. Really it's sad. So is my life.

Anyways, I wanted you to know that, sweet reader. You who mass in the millions. I salute you. Word, bitches.

Godspell, Philip K. Dick, and Ponderings of Life and Death and the Eternal

2006 was a rough year for me. I lost many people I loved to unexpected death. I lost friends because of my ability to hurt others. I felt helpless to the world. During this time I read "The Divine Invasion" a science fiction novel written by Philip K. Dick. It is about God and the Devil, and a novel I would whole heartedly recommend.

Essentially, it is about the second coming of Christ, but more than that man's ability to turn away from God.

This being said I watched Godspell last night (and finished it this morning).

It reminded me of many of my beliefs on God and the Universe.

The Universe, when broken down to the most minute scale is comprised of nothing. We see and feel solid matter, liquids, etc. These are comprised of chemicals which are further comprised of atoms. Atoms are made of protons, neutrons and electrons. What are these made of? Nothing. These molecules are made of nothing, hell, the atom itself is made of 99% empty space. The Universe is made of mostly empty space.

What does this mean? Honesty in the scientific realm I don't really know. I have another theory on what this "empty space" really is.

If God is omnipresent, then God exists in everything. As science has put it everything is made of nothing. So what is this nothingness? I believe it is the "flesh and blood" of God. That everything is a physical manifestation of God. The rocks, the birds, ourselves. Every atom that comprises us is the physical manifestation of God.

Further more, we live in a 4 dimensional universe. Human beings, however, exist on a 3 dimensional plane. For us, the 4th dimension is linear. Time moves forward.

To something (theoretically) that exists on a 4th dimensional level it can co-exist in multiple points, further more separate points can co-exist in one location.

When the theory of relativity is applied to light (I cannot at this time recall the exact formulas) light exists as 1 over 1. This means that were you or I to be light we would perceive ourselves to exist in every point of the universe simultaneously. Not unlike the belief of God. It means that time does not exist for light, and that everything is essentially one point, one locale.

Could this be another physical and tangible manifestation of God? I believe so. Really, everything is the physical manifestation of God, because without God there is no physical. Without God there is no manifestation of anything. The computer I type on right now is a physical manifestation of God, because it could not exist independently of God.

What does this have to do with Philip K. Dick and Godspell? I'm getting there.

Philip K. Dick stated that his belief was the entire universe, every moment of existence is actually one moment. The dying dream of Christ on the Cross. In that moment of death Christ took on the burden of humanity's sins. Dick's belief was that Jesus actually lived everyone's life in that moment of death. That we are actually the dreams of God. I say the dreams of God because Jesus (as belief would state) was fully divine and fully human. Therefore Jesus was and is God.

The most basic and true definition of Hell is "The Absence of God." If God is all-present and exists in everything does a hell exist? I have heard many say that hell is when one is given the choice of "Glory," the salvation of God, and one turns away from God.

Could anything look into the face of God and say "I don't love you?" Even with all of life's hardships, even with the toil of man, I don't think it is possible to turn from God when confronted with pure love. Because isn't that what God is? Love?

It was "Godspell" a silly 70's musical about the Gospel of Matthew that began these ponderings this morning. These thoughts of Jesus and Philip K. Dick. These ideas of atoms and nothingness and everythingness.

This may be a strange thing to ponder on a Friday at 11 in the morning. These beliefs may seem strange and alien or worse, blasphemous, to many. I don't care. I could be wrong. But I believe, and that is what is important to me.

To end this post I will leave you with a quote:

"Day by day, day by day, oh dear Lord three things I pray: to see thee more clearly, to love thee more dearly, to follow thee more nearly. Day by day."

Yesterday and the Salon of Shame

I went and visited Chris again yesterday. It was good to see him, especially because he is no longer intubated. Andy and I stayed for a while, about an hour, but then Chris was feeling tired and having been intubated for almost 2 weeks his throat was sore and he couldn't talk much. There are some new abscesses that have formed in his legs and rest of his lower body, so he isn't out of the woods just yet, but the old ones are still healing.

Afterwards I went home and Poot came over. We went out to Meekwomooks park on Alki. It was raining so there were no people in the park, which was nice. We spent some time identifying plants including white pine and a large and beautiful yew tree. After that we hiked up through the park (which looks small but covers a large strip of land going up the hill into the center of West Seattle) and found some great tracks and other things.

One of our best finds was a fairly fresh Coyote skat. In the skat there was a lot of cottonous fibers mixed in which made us think that the Coyote had eaten someone's pet. They tend to do that here in West Seattle. My favorite part of our skat find was the perfect set of tracks the Coyote had left in the leaves/forest like loam. The legs were in the squat position. Poot and I had a good laugh over this.

Poot and I then went back to his parent's house and ate some killer chili. Then I called Drew.

I had forgotten to meet her downtown. I was in, lets say, a little hot water. I beat her back to the apartment and took a shower and after a little tiff between the two of us we got some food from The Bakery Nouveau, a wonderful French Bakery by our apartment and then caught a cab to the "Salon of Shame."

The Salon of Shame is a show inspired by "Cringe" where local authors and other people read excerpts of their most odious and embarrassing diary entries from their childhood and teenage years. Last night's salon included a girl with a statutory crush and the first inclings of homosexuality in one man's life (who at the time of writing did not know he was gay). There was also mention of the Commodore 64 and Tears for Fears.

All in all there were fourteen readers and most were exceptionally funny. The last guest reader was a writer from Vancouver BC who only read old poetry, which was quite funny. I recommend to any person who enjoys a good laugh at other people's expense to check out the Salon.

Drew and I got a ride home from her co-worker and she promptly went to bed. I beat the Team Deathmatch mode in Unreal Championship for the XBOX.

My quote for the night? "Not that it matters at this range, but I'm a surgeon with this Flak Cannon." -Haberdasher

Early Morning and Re-evaluations

Today is a Monday. Everyone (well most people) get up early and go to work. Drew is no exception to this. Because she gets up early and goes to work I usually wake up as well, to pack her lunch. Unless I had no sleep the night before (which for me is more common than not) I am a cheerful, happy, sweet boyfriend and pack her lunch.

I enjoy (for the most part) our life together. Of course there are things that get each other, things that annoy us about each other. But, for the most part, things are wonderful. Today I made drew a ham and (mostly) cheese sandwich, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for her bus ride, and I put some soup in a Tupperware for her.

The thing that has been the biggest problem between the two of us is my current stagnation. I am trying to finish my internship at SCCtv, and so far I have only recieved 8 hours of the original 45 hours I had left before my shoulder injury.

To add on top of the internship problem there are other issues that exasperate the situation. I have been in a state of creative stagnation, which has added to being depressed, and on top of that my anxiety disorder has been acting up worse than ever before. And more than that I make no money at the Red Lion. Yeah. I feel like a looser, a bit.

So, the other night we had a chat about everything that had been bugging us and things that we wanted to change and it was good. One of those relationship re-evaluations. I feel like I have some more direction now, which is refreshing. I also feel like we have opened communications back open. It's hard living with someone, even a person you love completely, but it is worth it.

Now on to more boring and asinine things. It's about 8:30 in the morning right now and I've been watching "Nick Cannon Wild n' Out" an "improv comedy" show where celebrities battle each other by making jokes and insulting people. The thing about this show is that it can be funny, when funny ass people are on it. I saw one episode with Kat Williams and another with Andy Milonakis. However, most of the episodes have people I have never heard of on and they suck.

It makes me feel old. I am no longer a target audience for Mtv. Jesus. I'm 24 years old! For Christ's sake! Yet, I feel more and more out of this loop than ever before. Even when I talk to people in my peer group I feel out of the loop. They talk about music I have never heard (nor do I really want to) and movies I find trivial. Maybe I am an elitist or a snob or maybe I just have better taste than most people. Maybe I'm out of the loop because I filter out the bullshit better than most people my age. I think that Drew possesses this as well, better than me in fact, as she manages to stay in the loop but still filter crap. How? I have no idea. I guess that is just part of her magic.

Day three and dirt time

Poot (an otherwise un-named friend) and I spent some dirt time today, but before I lay that down I will tell you the tale of all of my day.

I woke up around 11 o'clock and started my day by checking my internet bullshit, mainly the face book shizzle. After some time on the internet, with the static of MTV playing in the background, Poot knocks on my door. He has a signature knock. I wonder if he knows about it, but decide not to tell him, so that I can tell when he is coming.

I open the door, and he tells me about his now pinched nerve. I feel mediocre at this point because of lack of sleep and a cold I have been fighting. Poot and I had a chat for a bit, and I did the dishes (cause I'm a good house boy) and Poot and I headed off to the only Tully's in Seattle (as I had a gift card from Christmas). I had a Yerba-Mate and he had a Mocha.

We went down to Lincoln park and walked through the wooded part for a little bit. In there we saw some raccoon skat and some chickadees. Sweet little birds, those chickadees.

After this we went down to the beach to get some time down in the sand. It was raining today, and the temperature was not exactly warm. One of those dreary and drizzly Northwestern days where the sky is gray from clouds and the constant patter of rain. A beautiful day if you ask me. Though I think my cold would tend to disagree.

We climbed down from the park area down to the beach and tried some different tracking exercises. The first we tried was a ten step across some grass. . . in the rain. . . and I have very little dirt time. Soooo, that was fun, but I felt a bit lost.

Then we hit the sand. After checking out some people and dog tracks we started another tracking exercise. This was another ten step. (To clarify: a ten step is when you mark the first and last of ten tracks and then check them out. There are different variations of this with certain focuses.) What Poot did was lay down a set of ten tracks and I had to find them. He did a certain walk (called the fox walk) to leave less of a track and make it more difficult for me to find the tracks. After a period of frustration, I finally found all the tracks and got it right. I felt good about that.

My next project will be to build a tracking box. This way I will have some "zero dirt" to study pressure releases.

Poot and I headed over to my parents house (after a quick dry off from the rain and a much needed shower for me) and ate some eggs and did a few dishes for my parents. . . cause they fucking needed it. So, all in all it has been a good day.

Cheers.

The New Year Is Here. . .

The new year is upon us and it seems that (surprisingly) not much has changed. The US is still in a god-awful war, I have had increasing bouts of heartburn and one of my good friends returned from Texas with a horrible case of MRSA (Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus Aureus).

Chris is now hospitalized at UW medical, after being moved from Highline Medical in Burien. I can't say I am not worried about him. I visited him New Years Eve and he looked rough. He was intubated, because the infection had spread to the sack surrounding his lungs. Without the help of intubation he is unable to breathe. This means were it not for the life-support he would be dead right now.

After researching MRSA with some thoroughness I am even more scared for him. It has a high fatality rate and of "bugs" of it's kind (MSSA for instance) it is more fatal. The good thing is that Chris is young and strong, and that he got this bad because of lack of attention to a lip infection and lack of medical insurance.

When he finally recovers he will be weak from being bed-ridden and will have a pile of medical bills sky-high. Luckily, he has a good support structure. His parents are wonderful people and they are there for him, as are his friends. Most notably being a mutual friend of ours, Andy Kaburka.

Andy has spent much of his holidays in the ICU with Chris, and was with me when I went to see Chris on New Years.

It was an odd sensation, stepping into a hospital to see a friend. I have always gone to hospitals as the one sick or because a family member, mainly my now deceased grandfather, was ill. To see a good friend hooked up to all manner of machines designed to drain, suck, feed, and keep alive is something I wish on no one.

Being intubated he could not speak, and was not in the mood to use his writing board. I was nervous and scared for him. I tried to make small talk and after a few minutes started to relax. Then I had him laughing about things, which made things worse, because every time he laughed he would cough.

He was hooked up to this machine that makes Dr. Seuss/ Willy Wonka type noises that depend on the severity of his cough. I'd make him laugh, he'd start coughing the machine would go ape shit and I'd laugh more. Then he'd laugh more. Then more ape shit from the coughing.

At least I made him laugh a bit.

Chris, my prayers are with you for a speedy and healthy recovery.