The Stanislaus

I just ate the best sandwich of my life. It was amazing.

I don't know what to call it, So IT'S NAME SHALL BE:

A Stanislaus.

Olive oil (Fuck extra virgin, you want the sluttiest olive oil you can get)
1/3rd an onion
1 large slice of roast beef
2 slices of Organic and/or Spelt Bread
2 large dobs of Miracle Whip
1 large dob of Heinze Mustard
1 tsp Cayenne Pepper
1 table spoon Molasses
1 table spoon white vinegar
1 table spoon red vinegar
1/4 cup West Seattle tap water
salt
pepper
rock and fucking roll.

So basically what you do is chop up a quarter to a third onion. Put in a pan that you have salted and heated oil to medium heat. I used an electric stovetop so I had it on 7 to heat up. Throw in the onions and stir. pour a little more oil, maybe a tea spoon. Fill up water and put that in. Stir again. Pour in the white vinegar. Stir and let chill (as in cook at medium heat) for about 9-15 minutes. I can't remember how long, cause I was drunk. But you want the onions to stay crunchy, you know. . . meaty. . . More on this later.

After you let it chill for a little bit, add in the cayenne and molasses. Stir it up and turn the heat down a little and add the red vinegar (I went to about a 4 on the stove-top.) Let that simmer and cook for a while, maybe another 5 minutes or so, then turn the heat off and cover it. Go smoke a cigarette. After your smoke turn the heat on 3 and let simmer for a little while, still covered. Lay the mayo and mustard on the bread. I like to put half the mayo on one side, then put the mustard and rest of the mayo on the other slice of bread.

Turn the heat up to about 6 or 7, uncover the onions, and throw the roast beef on top of the onions. Let chill for a wee bit, to cook the beef a little. After this push the onions to one side and sear the roast beef, not too much though. I reccomend slicing the beef in half while you do this. Put the beef and awesome onions on the sandwich and then eat. Merry Christmas, you have a Stanislaus.