An Open Letter To My Ticks

Dear OCD inspired twitches,

I hate your guts. You make me late for meetings and get in the way of relationships. If you were a political prisoner I would have you executed. Maybe I would just lock you up in Guantanamo and throw away the key.

I hate how people look at me when you are around. You are the obnoxious friend that will not go away. No matter how mean I am to you, you still show up at parties, social functions, and even at my house when I am alone.

You suck. I hate you. If I could kill you, I would. I would hang you upside down and slit your throat so that the blood would drain out. It makes disposing the body easier. Then I would cut you up at the joints and bury you in the woods.

Die.

All the best wishes,
Ian "Twitch Master" Prebo