An Open Letter To My Subconscious Mind

Dear Subconscious,

We have had many fun times, you and I. All the wonderful dreams you have given me have been a blessing. Remember the time we went to the mall? You ate too much ice cream and I got a headache from the Orange Julius. That was great. Or how about the time we went flying? What a wonderful evening that was.

Many times you come out while I am near sleep, and give those around me jems of joy, such as "feeding the bears" and "don't take it all." When you come out like this it is appreciated and wonderful.

You cannot, however, be mean to the ones I love. I will not stand for your negative comments to my girlfriend, nor your need to vent frustrations and be a general nuisance.

I understand it can get lonely in the recesses of my mind, but that does not give you the excuse to be unpleasent. If needs be I will put you in your box and never let you out. The gauntlets are off, my dear hidden friend; I will no longer tolerate your intrusions into my life if they continue to bring daytime discontent with Drew.

And finally, please no more nightmares that cause me to clog dance. We all hate it.

Sincerely, your pal and owner
Ian Fucking Prebo