Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Things to note about a dislocated shoulder

It fucking hurts. Also, I always believed that once said shoulder was back in location that it would no longer cause pain or discomfort. Turns out when one dislocates a shoulder it rips and tears muscles, ligaments, and cartilage. This means 4 to 6 weeks of discomfort. It does, however, have the bonus of no heavy lifting and general sympathy from those around you. So he who injured said shoulder does not have to help out with the family garage sales nor with his sister's house move. The downside is that being on top during coitus cause irritation to the injury. Bad news for the Heart of Austria crowd. . . Good news for downstairs neighbors.

an open letter to freeze tag

Dear Freeze Tag

You have given me many joys in my life, especially in my childhood. The long summer days of you and me running around, crawling through people's legs to unfreeze them have always been fond memories.

Recently I visited you while camping. You were not the kind and cordial freeze tag I remember. You have become an abusive friend. I do not appreciate your hand in dislocating my shoulder. We are no longer friends, freeze tag. Maybe this will be a lesson for you. When you injure people, freeze tag, they no longer want to spend time with you.

I hope you feel proud of yourself, you jerk.

Your (ex)friend in a sling,
Ian Prebo